Dr Lily Tomas and Greg de Jong © 2015| Privacy Policy



    The following are examples of stress management techniques that address the reason why you feel uncomfortable or unable to address a challenge or set of challenges in your life.




Achieve Life Balance 


   This is a complete subject in itself, involving your ability or inability to achieve a relative balance between different aspects of your life. For more details Link to Life Balance.



Skill Development 


   Whenever you have a challenge you feel unable to meet, it implies that you believe you lack the skills to solve it. If this is the case, sit down and identify what skills you require to solve a challenge. Next identify ways in which you can develop these skills and set yourself to learning them.





   Of course there are times in which it would be easier simply to delegate the task that is challenging you to someone else who has the skills to do it. In reality, any person who has a skill that you don’t, or even don’t enjoy doing, is potentially your stress manager as long as you can afford to delegate the task. In fact many people fail to delegate responsibility even when in a position to do so.




Time Management 


 If you have poor time management skills, it is essential you work on these. The books by Stephen Covey are highly recommended, however a further concept to understand is your own Life Pace. This is important, for learning perfect time management can be a double edged sword if you do not place it within perspective to your personal temperament and character.



Financial Management 


   Like time management, managing your finances is a critical skill that must be developed. Learning to budget and use money wisely, whilst not being obsessive about this task, is an important balance to achieve. Furthermore it is a rudimentary skill we all must develop as there is always a risk when you rely on others to manage your money. 




Overcoming Your Fears 


   A large part of many people’s stress is actually fear. Identifying when your fears are simply incorrect perception rather than genuine challenge is essential. Unless you learn to face your fears, you are likely to be repeatedly stressed when encountering the relevant situation that you are fearful of. The second step is to address the belief structures that have led to your fears.

Develop Healthy Belief Structures


   You have the choice to believe what you like, whether or not it is true. To develop healthy belief structures it is important to gather as many facts as possible and only after which, interpret the information. Of course, facts are not enough, for unless you develop a positive attitude of optimism, even a perfect set of facts can be perceived negatively by a cynical attitude.

   How do you deal with unhealthy beliefs? Seek as many facts that support the healthy belief structure you wish to develop as an alternative and after which work on your optimism.




Nurture Optimism 


    Is your glass half empty or half full?

    Interpreting facts with a positive mental attitude is a temperament that often needs to be developed, particularly if you have experienced set backs in your life.  Begin by taking time out to be grateful for the simple things every morning rather than evaluating your losses. Training yourself to look for as many positive aspects of a situation, however grim, will also help. Change the words you use, attempting to create positively directed statements wherever possible. Look for as many different perspectives to a problem so you can find the most positive viewpoint is very effective.



Learn to Problem Solve 


     Learning problem solving skills will help you meet challenges as they arise. Problems can be solved using various techniques such as:





•Searching out successful role models


•Break Down and Specialise




Plan Carefully 


    After Problem Solving, it is important to develop a sensible plan, understanding the actions that need to be taken to overcome a challenge. Planning gives you direction and timing, realistically outlining when and what has to happen so as to act efficiently.


Act Proactively where Appropriate


   Where you have the ability to act, move with purpose. Be prepared to ask questions to forward your progress. Avoid procrastination. Show interest and people will often help you.




Be Patient 


    Many people become anxious while waiting for outcomes outside of their control that eventually turn out favourable for them. Patience comes with understanding natural time frames for events. If necessary, inquire of others how long something may take such that you know when to expect the outcome.




Communicate Effectively 


 The better you communicate the more likely you will understand a situation clearly, which is likely to lead to less stress. Communication is part of the skills list known as Emotional Intelligence which should be developed to improve all aspects of your life.




Ask for Help


 Do not underestimate how much people are willing to help you. However people will not be able to help unless they are aware of your situation. You may need to be prepared to hear them say ‘No’, However, this may be well worth the risk as hearing ‘Yes’ may save you from problems you may be able to face in a healthier and more supported manner.

 In line with this, learn as much about the assistance that is available with your current situation as possible.




Accept what you can’t Control


 There is a limit to what you can do in any situation. During any set of events there is a point at which you need to let go and accept you have done all you can and must accept what eventually results. Let go and let be. 

Caused Based Stress Management